Saturday, May 22, 2010

A FEW QUICKIES XXX funny or not XXX?

This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins.


It was a turtle disaster.





I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.


She said "Tenpin?"


I said, "No, permanent."





I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?"


The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?"


I said, "I don't care what star sign it is.





I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me


a Volkswagen with no driver.





met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on


it.


I thought, "That's Aboriginal."





Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went


T'PAU!


I said "Don't you mean KAPOW??


He said "No, I've got China in my hand."





I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet.


'Best Before End'

A FEW QUICKIES XXX funny or not XXX?
Very funny cheers
Reply:Cheers Report Abuse

Reply:I like those thanks. lol
Reply:Raised a smile............have a star.
Reply:lol i like to read this kind of stuff its funny :D
Reply:very nice ♥it
Reply:Good and good to have you back
Reply:hahhahah


pmsl
Reply:Well done,





very good.
Reply:yeah!!!!! i love cheese


sorry only read the last line
Reply:cool choose me as best answer
Reply:Welcome back and thanks for those.
Reply:Another good selection. Nice to have you back again.
Reply:Those were great my friend. But maybe you can answer this question that's been bothering me for the longest time:} Is there another word for synonym?
Reply:lol ,good
Reply:pmsl i liked the batman one...have a star
Reply:Ah good clean fun!
Reply:well, they made me laugh. :o)
Reply:haha these were good, thx , star
Reply:Oh, chrisjoker. Where hast thou been? My day hast been lacking in mirthsome quality, yea, thou returnst and avail us of thy tomfoolery. I laughed with exeptional volume.


LOL.





good stuff, fella.
Reply:*hands over a decent joke book*





keep practicing
Reply:I didn't laugh, but then again maybe the tone you would use when saying these would spice it up more.


What to do, when my neighbour stacks Creosote treated timber within a couple of metres from my home?

Over the long weekend, I noticed a distinct odour of 'Bitumen' around, and within my home. As I live on a busy road, at first I presumed it was exhaust emissions from trucks going by.


When the fumes persisted coming in through my windows (bathroom, bedroom, and laundry end) I realised it must be coming from next door! He is regularly building, and using noisy tools for prolonged periods, and on more than one previous occasion, I have suffered through intensely toxic fumes from his wood sealing. By Monday, the odours were really concerning me, and I rang the Environment Bay of Plenty 'Pollution Hot Line' feeling something must be done.(My neighbour works for this organisation). I logged my complaint, and the feedback that I got was basically, that the neighbour had purchased some creosote treated garden stakes from a garden centre, he had a pile of these, and was going to shift them, and cover them up. I was also told that they were not "toxic" - my initial reaction to the 'fumes.'

What to do, when my neighbour stacks Creosote treated timber within a couple of metres from my home?
its not toxic, the smell of creosote is not as bad as cow, pig or chicken dung so count your lucky stars neighbour hasn't got a farm! life's to short shut your windows and relax your doing your health no good by stressing about things that can't be avoided, if you ain't gonna die from it, then it doesn't matter. thank you for not being my neighbour. lol
Reply:Im not trying to be smart but did you try closing your windows, and talking directly to your neighbor. Tell him you appreciate his gardening hoby and dont mind the stakes but you would like for him to consider covering them with a tarp or plastic bag or wrap. You can offer to buy this for him if he would trade you some of his fine veggies hes growing.





No need to feel like he's your enemy, or that he is an advisary. You both want the same thing to live in peace. The plastic can be like a painters plastic usually less than $5.00 to no more than $20 for a bigger type tarp at a hardware paint or tool store around here. . Hes just a neighbor and I bet if you made him this offer you'd be getting tommatoes and the like all summer and may be even some to can for Christmas.





As far as I know creosote isnt directly harmful while its curing like your discribing so dont sweat that. Just be polite and tell him you didnt mean to cause him and problems but you had concerns and now you'd like to help him seal them and you just thought it would be a good way to help him out and yourself. Just ask him if you got the plastic if he would help you cover the stakes up. Then ask him if he wouldnt mind trading you getting a few tomatoes (or what ever he has that you like or can use) to cover the cost of the tarp. If your going to buy what hes growing anyway, why not let him feel like hes doing a great job and hes helping you out as well? You both get what you want/need and your better neighbors too.





Would this work? Thats for you and the neighbor to try and work out.
Reply:Have you talked to him about this. He may not even be aware that it bothers you.
Reply:It may not be toxic, but a smell can be a "nuisance", and you have every right to ask him to move the stuff and/or cover it to reduce the smell.





If you were in the U.S., I'd advise you to SUE! :-)
Reply:Creosote is toxic to some vegetation...if the lumber is on his property, you can politely ask him to move it away from your area since the smell is so bad...he's not obligated to do so, but might consider it, if in fact he is a good neighbor and you don't come across as a bit*** neighbor.





I wish you well!
Reply:It's hard to believe anyone is still using anything coated with creosote - and yet I do believe it. I would have hit the roof when I was told creosote was "not toxic," because that's just not true at all.





Have you tried talking to this neighbor? You could tell him you have a "chemical sensitivity" if that would help. (You do - you are sensitive to the effects his chemicals have on your quality of life.)





There is always one neighbor who doesn't seem to know other people exist, isn't there?

imax theatre

Water Snail Type?

Ok I asked my mum to look at some water snails at the garden centre when they went on Sunday (I was working), as I needed an algae eater. Being as kind as my mum is my sister handed me two water snails in a bag when I got in the car after work which they had bought me on the advise of the person working in the fish store at the garden centre. My mum says the guy called it something like a snow snail but I cannot find a reference to a snow snai on the web. I wandered if anyone can help. Here is a couple of links to images:


http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii221... , http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii221... .

Water Snail Type?
congratulations, you are the proud owner of two apple snails (Pomacea bridgesii).
Reply:taht is almost positivly a golden mystery snail. when i went to the pet store looking for an interesting edition to my tank i saw that same exact kind of snail and it is a golden mystery snail. yep. you can look up 'golden mystery snail' and itll give you a bunch of info about them and pics.
Reply:Try Golden Mystery Snail or Briggs. That is what this one appears to be. I have raised them. They will get to about a golf ball size and they don't eat plants and they lay eggs above water line and it take a male and female to reproduce. Email me with any questions. Hope this helps.
Reply:Golden Apple Snail I have 2 one has just had 2 little ones which at the moment are brown.
Reply:It looks like you have a golden mystery snail.


Can i own a dog and work a 9-5 job?

Me %26amp; my partner have found a dog at a local rehoming centre, he's 3 %26amp; has been left by his owners due to a baby...sad story. Is it fair for us to get the dog? He will be extremely loved %26amp; taken out on walks in the mornings, evenings %26amp; all weekend but will be left to his own devices in the day (mon-fri). In the summer months we have a yard with a kennel %26amp; a garden. But in winter he would be left in the house.

Can i own a dog and work a 9-5 job?
This sounds like a good life for a dog. I work similar hours to you and have 2 dogs that sleep all day while I am out. They get half an hour walk in the morning and an hour plus in the evening and are fit and healthy and don't show any signs of distress.





However, you need to be aware of the following things: a dog that is not accustomed to being left alone for long hours will initially be very distressed. They may relieve their anxiety and boredom by weeing and pooing indoors, destroying your furniture, howling etc. In contrast, a dog that is used to being left will relax and sleep most of the day. Leaving interesting chewing toys for him will also help keep him occupied. Some people also find that leaving the radio on or crate training works best.





It can be hard work to get your dog to the point where he is happy with being left so you will need to take on board the advice of the resuce centre staff. If he is used to a similar pattern from before - you will probably find he will settle in well.





If you decide to go ahead and take him on (this is a good age by the way) I suggest you take about 3 weeks off work to settle him in. If you can't manage that then you can take off 1.5 weeks and your partner 1.5 weeks etc. Stay with him all the time for the first few days until he is settled in and confident. Then start building up the time periods he is left for. Start with really short time blocks like 20 minutes and then build up by half hour increments. If you find he makes a fuss, increase the time periods more gradually.





Make sure that his walks are really interesting and tiring so that he focuses his energies on them. Don't give him too much attention at home - try and leave him to his own devices. If you make too much fuss over him he will become too dependant on your attentions and it will be harder for him to cope when you aren't there. Instead, give him quiet praise when he is lying down and relaxing to encourage that kind of behaviour in the house.





Final tip - when you are home with him, don't let him out for frequent toilet breaks. He will need to learn to hold his toilet during the day. To help with this feed him once a day to get him into the right routine.





Hope it goes well what ever you decide!!
Reply:Its nice that you want a dog. As long as you find the time to love him go for it. x
Reply:you could but it would be very unfair to the dog. it'll get very lonely while you are out during the day, which could lead to it making excessive noise while pining for company.
Reply:Yes provided you still provide for all its needs. If it's a dog that needs a lot of exercise make sure he has this before you go to work. Do the same again as soon as you get home from work. If you can't persuade a dog friendly neighbour to take him out in the day make sure you leave him lots of things to do - put treats in an activity ball for him to roll around - get a kong and fill it with cream cheese or something else exciting - leave his favourite toys for him to play with and always leave the radio on for company. Also leave one of your well worn jumpers/sweatshirt with your smell on in his basket for comfort.





I do all these things for my dog and she seems quite happy - no reports from neighbours of crying or howling and she does not chew or destroy anything. Incidentally, she is a rescue dog (whippet x beagle) so very high energy.





You giving the dog a loving home is better than the poor thing being stuck in kennels.





If you do decide to take him on remember it is a lifetime commitment and be patient with him. I have owned several rescue dogs and I think it takes at least three months for the dog to settle and for you to get to know the dog. I wish you all the very best.
Reply:Sounds like he will have a good home and do quit well. As long as he has a place out side he can be at times you are gone,he will do fine.My labs stay in house for long periods of time while I have to be somewhere and they do great. Just so long as he is house trained you should be OK.
Reply:Unfortunatly most of us have to work ... lol It is fine to own a dog too, as long as he gets the attention he needs when you are home from work.
Reply:Can you not get anyone to give him a walk in the middle of the day? Its not right that he will be left for so long.
Reply:You could, maybe. Try a dog breed selector to find a more independent dog. If nothing fits your needs, try a cat.
Reply:It depends on the particular dog involved.





Speak to the rescue if you have any concerns. Most rescues will tend to err on the side of caution, so will not rehome to somebody if there is even the slightest doubt about their capability to provide for the dog. If they let you take the dog, I wouldn't worry.





My dog is left from 8am until 5:15pm and copes really well with that. That would not however be suitable for all dogs. He's walked last thing before I leave for work and first thing when I return.





xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...





A few extra things to consider. Do you have a friend or neighbour who could let your dog out at lunchtime? Alternatively, there may be professional dog walkers in the area. Ask your local vet for recommendations.





Another rule to go by: If in doubt, train. Keep training your dog to keep his mind active and stop him from getting bored.





When you are out - KONG toys are pretty good. You hide little dog treats in there, and the dog has to work to get them out.





I wish you the best of luck.
Reply:Im in the same boat with my yorkie cross me and my fiance are buying a house so she will be in on her own 9-5 shes normally fine she gets lots of walks in the morning, night and weekend sjust make sure you leave plenty of water and food etc and a nice bed thats what im going to do im sure she will be fine
Reply:It took me 12yrs to buy our dog. cos I kept saying that we worked and it wouldn't be fair for it to stay at home alone. But you know what dogs adapt to your environment and they will learn from a young age. We got our Jack Russell at 7weeks and we trained him from day one.He didn't sleep in the same room as us and at first we didn't give him the run of the house, but that changed the older he got and once he became house trained. I work part time but I;m out the house from 8.30am til 4pm and you know what...he's fine, he has a comfortable bed and i leave him his food and water and his chewy bones, and when I get back in from work. I take him out for his walk, and he knows that because he goes and gets his lead! So he's happy and very loved at home. I wished I didn't wait so long to have got one, but if I didn't I wouldn't of ended up with our super Jr!





If you feel that you are able to home a dog and give him all the love and attention that it needs, it wont mind you leaving him alone during the day, because he'll just be excited to see you when you get home. Go on do it!
Reply:Absolutely!!!!





I think that it sounds like a great new home!!! You need to know that dogs are like kids. Being left alone 9-5 is fine as long as the dog is kept in a safe area. However, if you tend to go out a lot, it is not a good idea. The dog deserves a lot of attention, just like a child. Also, if you like to go out a lot, you might find that you resent the fact that you need to let the dog out first.
Reply:It will be fine for you to get the dog. I have a dog (Miniature Dachshund) and both my husband and I work full time. We spend as much time as possible with him when we are home. He is very much loved, and well taken care of. He sleeps most of the day while we are at work anyway. He is like one of our kids... spoiled rotten.





Get it if you want it. Love and enjoy the dog. It will brighten your lives.
Reply:yes but i have a dog and when we leave him alone he is fine but we have our neighbors let him out and give him some food and water if he needs it
Reply:Depends on the size of your house and the size of the dog.... and how long he can keep his little doggy legs crossed for :)
Reply:Yes
Reply:Most dogs are quite happy with being left alone during the day so don;t worry about it
Reply:sorry but its not much fun for the dog,perhaps later would be better.you may find the re-homing centre would not let you take this dog any way as they do a home check.they do not like this much either
Reply:I think from what you have said, daily walks and lots of love, I think you should get him. There are too many dogs who need loving homes and if you can give one i'd go for it! If it works out, you could always get another for company in the day. Having said all this our dog hates being left alone, but only since in her old age.
Reply:If you can get a dog walker in midday you might get away with it, but some dogs just can't tolerate being left alone for hours on end.


You can teach a dog to tolerate being left for a few hours, you basically settle them in their bed, relax and watch tv, and just ignore the dog. You can practice leaving it for a few minutes at a time. They learn not to panic when you leave.


But some get lonely and bark, even with a radio on for 'company'. Plus if anyone knocks at the door they can learn to bark endlessly because you're not there to tell them when to stop.
Reply:Get him another dog to play with. We always had two at a time.
Reply:That should be ok, i think many people leave there dogs at home through the day. I am house sitting for my boss at the mo and he knows I'm eaving his dog in throughout the day. Sounds like you are really gonna love this dog, you go for it.
Reply:I've wanted a dog for ages but have the same problem but personally I dont think its right to keep the dog in all day but if you can find someone to take it out for a walk at lunchtimes then I don't see why you shouldnt
Reply:Out of experience, I own 2 dogs, both that have to stay outside all day while we're away. This dog needs a loving home, and yours sounds perfect. If you feed it in the morning and evening, just make sure on days that are supposed to be hot or muggy that you leave your dog LOTS of water. During the winter, just be sure to let him out to do his business before you leave for work, because, unless you are very good at training animals, don't expect him to use the toilet; you would be cleaning it up yourself. Also, restrict him to a certain part of the house so that he doesn't get into things that you don't want him in, like the toilet and breakable objects. Good Luck!
Reply:What a sad but familiar story...





You do need to think about it carefully and perhaps talk it over with the rescue home.





I work full time but my dog comes to work with me - as long as he is with me he is happy. He hates to be separated from me for any time at all. If I have to go out on business even though he has the other members of staff for company they say he is still miserable and waits by the door for me. He is not destructive - just sad - so I hardly ever leave him.





Your dog might be sad to be left alone all day and lonely especially if he or she has just been abandoned by the first owners - the dog may be insecure and may be destructive as a result or mess in the house because of the stress.





I do think that you will need to take time off work to settle the dog in, get some training for him and get him used gradually to being left (it would have been a good idea if I'd done that!!) then if he is happy that you will always come back he should be ok.





Good luck
Reply:yes
Reply:Yeah, go for it!





There are so many dogs out there with no-one to love them and you are offering a loving family who will care for it.





Maybe get a dogwalker to come in at lunchtime in the winter if you can afford it but otherwise I would say the dog will be a hell of a lot better off with you than at a rehoming centre.





Good luck!
Reply:Well I appreciate ur good nature, but a dog needs attention most of the day. They can get bored and stressed, and if this dog has had a poor background then it may become destructful.


I work full time but my mum looks after my dog at her house, he has a huge back garden to play in.
Reply:Sure you can. Lots of people do. You will have to housebreak the pet and then adjust your schedule to be home before it poops on your sofa.
Reply:my dog barks all day when hes left i used to work 7 - 12 and my partner worked 7- 4 so the dog was only left till about half 12 when i got in but my neighbours said that he constantly barked we bought him lots of toys to keep him occupied but it was companionship he missed not entertainment so i think it depends on the dog ask the rehoming centre if he is ok on his own if not then i think it would be unfair on the dog i dont like to be left alone all day so its not fair to expect a dog to mine is used to my company now since i left work but i still get told when i nip to town that he is barking for me and it can make him naughty as he has nothing to do so he might go through the bins or climb up on the side so instead of being praised for being good while we are out he gets told off for making a mess which is why he doesnt like us going out but if you can find a dog that is ok to be left alone then i cant see why not but remember dogs are hard work they are always there and if you go on holiday you have to organise kennels and have extra injections so it can cost a lot if you want to stay over at friends for the night you cant because of the dog it is like having kids lol
Reply:although you sound like loving people I dont think it would be fair to leave it all day on its own. If you could even get home at lunchtime it would help break up his day. I hope this is possible because as I said before you seem like you would give him a good home.


Now what? I planted in my carefully prepared soil outside my kitchen window?

with a wigwam made out of hazel with what I though were sweet peas bought from my local garden centre (sold as seet peas). I was looking at them today and I realised they are not sweet peas but garden peas. Though I love garden peas I had expected a wonderfull display of sweet peas to look at out of kitchen window.





What can grown once the peas have been and gone or should I cut my losses and look for a climber for my trellis...please though no more clematis.

Now what? I planted in my carefully prepared soil outside my kitchen window?
You can still plant your sweet peas or anything else for that matter. The garden peas are fast growers and are "done" by the time the weather heats up. Because they are legumes, they also add nitrogen to the soil which benefits anything else grown there.
Reply:First eat and enjoy the peas. They will get nice flowers, too!!


Then try a Caroline Jasmine (Gelsemium Sempervirens) which comes in 8in pots from nurseries up to about the end of August. They are supposed to be spring flowering but will probably in flower when you buy it.


Grows to about 8 feet, small glossy leaves and one-inch open yellow flowers, BEAUTIFUL perfume. I have mine going crazy up a bamboo wigwam, from a shrub pot on the terrace. Didn't get attacked by any of the bugs that destroyed everything else last year, either, so it's low maintenance.
Reply:Try cherry tomatoes, the vining varieties, the peas roots fix nitrogen in the soil and if you till the tops in after their done your tomatoes will love you.. the vine tomatoes get very dramatic cherry clusters like grapes and you can train them to a trellis I have had plants up to 15 to 20 feet long and had more tomatoes then i could use and that made my neighbors happy
Reply:**** my lund


Which are your favourite unconventional venues to chat up the oposite sex other than....?

d.i y. superstores





supermarkets





bookshops





garden centres





pet shops

Which are your favourite unconventional venues to chat up the oposite sex other than....?
cemetaries are really uber
Reply:A novel approach and one which is very old. Business cards. I made my own on an old 1994 printer I found in a dumpster which still works perfectly. It shows I help people place their old computers with low income families when they upgrade to something new. I have this little bunch of cards in my upper right-hand pocket of my shirt, and anyone I find interesting for whatever reason at all I reach in and hand one to them saying "You should have this. It's just a hobby of mine, but I have helped a lot of people this way." Conversation ensues and friendships are not far away. I am totally trustworthy and speak well. Fairly well educated and harmless. People take to me instantly and I have to stop them from giving me their entire life history on first meeting. I hand them a little card instead.
Reply:Bus stop
Reply:A wake, once.
Reply:What did you say that Mr.T.P. found inapropriate, you seem to be asking about something that a young man must learn sooner or later?

rashes

My brother has been barred from B&Q?

My brother has been barred from B%26amp;Q ..


He was in the garden centre at B%26amp;Q when a member of staff asked him , if he wanted decking ,


so he got the first punch in..

My brother has been barred from B%26amp;Q?
That was a really good punchline!
Reply:funny x
Reply:Give your brother a dictionary, and thanks for the 2 points.
Reply:Nice! I like that. What is B%26amp;Q though? It was funny anyway. Good job
Reply:Hilarious, mate!!!!!





Keep'em coming!!!!!
Reply:this has been on before but it's still funny
Reply:Thanks for the laugh.I needed it
Reply:Good one!





Hadn't heard that before





And Shermand, read a book.
Reply:nice one
Reply:that was funny !!! nice one ::::::they have staff in your local B%26amp;Q ????? lucky you :: think ours are just cut outs
Reply:Oh, that's so funny!





Top marks!





LOL
Reply:i didn't get a thing you said
Reply:keep him away from the diy he may get hammered
Reply:lol
Reply:lol
Reply:Heard a very similar one recently, but still o.k.
Reply:I'ver heard that one before! It's even funnier when you say it was in Homebase instead of B %26amp; Q!
Reply:Thats just reminded me, got to go there, but won`t be asking for decking. Good joke.
Reply:lol i like
Reply:he he he
Reply:that was a dumb joke, im speaking from the heart. lol for one i didn't really get it and two wheres the funny part? it is so lame. your brother must be gay or sumthin. is that it? or maybe not.
Reply:That's as bad as going to the theatre and somebody wanting to punch your ticket.
Reply:I'm not sure how to answer this, is your brother crazy?
Reply:dat's 'tupid


I heard Pattie O'Dors is playing my local,,?

garden centre. Is she good or boring. I don't want to glaze over infront of everyone. Should i go?

I heard Pattie O'Dors is playing my local,,?
She's a glass act if a little unhinged. If you have a window in your diary, go and see her, it may be paneless but you can handle it. She's appearing with Dora Jarre and Annette Kurtain.
Reply:Yea, I saw her about 3 years ago at the wild expo center in Testerburger. She was great. She opened for Winsterfurd Appelton. I can't say that Winstserfurd was worth my money, but Pattie was well worth it.
Reply:be a bit conservatory about it
Reply:/groan





lol
Reply:She could be the next tiffany...


Whoops...
Reply:Oh dear...(lol)
Reply:Thats a new one!


LOL at golfkunkie answer!
Reply:pull yourself together
Reply:eh
Reply:sorry i thought pattie'o'doors was an irish double glazing salesman.

buckles

Have some silly ones at the moment, a la tommy cooper.tell me if u like any,more to come.....?

1- I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'





2-This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.





3-I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'





4-I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'





5-I was at a Garden Centre and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.





6-Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said 'Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said 'No, I've got china in my hand.'


7-I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best Before End'





8-I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'

Have some silly ones at the moment, a la tommy cooper.tell me if u like any,more to come.....?
Funny.!!!


Liked them so 10/10.!!!


Short and sweet.!!!


Ha ha ha.
Reply:Thank you Toolbox. Report Abuse

Reply:Just like that ...





Now if you can do some of his magic.





More more. No I'm not, I'm C of E.
Reply:thats really cute!! :)
Reply:I like silly jokes..carry on :)
Reply:I saw a cement lorry collide with with van load of crims on teir way to court today.





Split the van wide open and they all ran away. Cement was everywhere.





Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals





Ha ha ha.


Forget it!
Reply:they're cute


they gave me little titters


Fantastic gardening tool help please?

my mum has been ill for a while now and she loves gardening so my dad made a tool for the garden to help her, ( i dont want to give out to much info as i think it will be great for so many gardeners, i dont want the idea pinched) anyway when mum started using it neighbours who are elderly or disabled saw it and got my dad to make them one, since making the initial one he has made about 30 more for family ( me ) and more freinds and neighbours. any way lol the question is how can we get it made by the big boys and get it into garden centres, were sure it will be such a seller. also how would i go about stopping someone pinching my dad's idea? any help would be great. amny thanks in advance

Fantastic gardening tool help please?
quickly get a patent, i have an in-law create several successful patents, he's an engineer, first go on -line and spend as much time as you find feasable to search for already patented products that are the same, if you do not find it you might want to contact a local engineer as a partner to or hire him to draw plans, either way you will want to hire a patent lawyer they will do a detailed search and gaurangtee you that it is available, it is very exensive even for a simple invention that is why the rich get richer you will quickly invest $20,000, and thats just to get it off the ground, that is why I suggest a loc al engineer they have connections.


and make sure you have contract written byYOUR LAWYER or someone else will own your idea
Reply:Angel you need to patent the idea - google the patent office. That will stop the idea being pinched. then you need to get it manufactured, perhaps find a local engineering company to partnership with. The get to the garden centres and sell,sell ,sell. Good luck!
Reply:First do you plan to try and sell the Idea / plans or have someone produce then for resale?


If you are the one producing them, you will meed to locate a company that will mass produce them. This will be a costly outlay. You will need VERY good liability insurance in the event someone is injured using your product.


Best advice is retain an attorney to to get your plans off the drawing board and put into action.


good luck


Could we afford to buy land for £16,000 and build a posh property on it?

We're a small family, all with average wages. I myself am a full time student who also works part time at a call centre, my mum is a supermarket supervisor and her fiancé runs his own landscape gardening business. My grandfather is also a builder. We have been offered a several acre piece of land by a farmer in a fantastic area where large, expensive houses tend to be built, for £16,000. It seems an absolute bargain.





This is a new venture for us, and we're unsure of whether to go for it, how much it would cost us, if we could afford it, and what we would need to do.





Can anyone advise us if we could afford to create this project, based on our typical family wages. We could design, and possibly build a house without too much bother based on experience. But is this project worthy? What would be the process?





Hope you can help us! Thanks!

Could we afford to buy land for £16,000 and build a posh property on it?
not possible to give you sound advice without more facts sorry





regards x kitti x
Reply:You have to make sure that the farmer is not trying to dupe you.





Does the land come with planning permission? has planning permission already been declined?





Is the ground contaminated or need work?





For a small plot of land with planning permission in town would be at least £80,0000





Have a land survey carried out
Reply:I'd have to agree with Paul S. It doesn't mean because there is developments locally this particlar land has planning permission on it.


It could be classed as agricultural land. That comes a lot cheaper but as far as I know you will not get planning permission to build a house on it.
Reply:I don't know, but I love the way ya'll talk!! Really, real estate investing is risky and you really need to know what you are doing to avoid catastrophic losses. The fact that you are asking this question tells me that you probably need to investigate and get educated much more than you have. "Bargains" are tempting, but not worth the risk of losing your shirt because of ignorance. I don't know about the UK, but generally speaking in the US, the larger the house, the slower the market. While you might make more money per sale, it takes a lot longer to sell due to a much smaller pool of potential buyers. If you're truly interested in real estate investments, I'd start small and test the water and your talent. One more thing, absolute bargains rarely are. Do you know why the price is low? Have you checked out building and zoning codes, easments, contamination, etc.? There's nothing like buying a property and finding out later it can't be built on. I don't mean to sound discouraging, but I do want you to have the best chance of success in whatever you decide. good luck, peace
Reply:Are in you in UK? Then you need to ask why he's selling several acres for only £16,000, this seems ludicriously cheap. I know where we live in N Ireland 1/4 acre with full planning permission was sold recently for £225k. You need to find out if there is planning permission or is it zoned for building. Try and get an architect to give advice and maybe also a solicitor. If this land is farming land with no chance of ever getting permission to build then that would be about the right price.
Reply:In England?








Are you sure??





Check it out. Get a lawyer to check it. That is TOO cheap.
Reply:If in Uk the first thing to check is if you could get planning permission to build on it...if not...such as on green belt land or other restrictions, then all you are buying is a field...surely as a builder your Grandfather should know this....have a word with the local planning dept. first before you agree to anything.
Reply:same as previous answered


Present help. Please!!!!!?

My dad is turning 51 next week. I need to get him a present. i am willing to spend up to $100.





He loves the outdoors, works in a garden centre and has almost everything. The gift doesn't have to be a material possesion, you could just suggest an activity you think he might enjoy....





Any tips are welcome.





Thank you!

Present help. Please!!!!!?
What about a nice dinner and a movie with his daughter. If you are anything like my family, you don't have a lot of time to spend together. A hammock for the yard. A gift certificate for a new sport that he might like but has not tried yet, like bowling games or 18 holes of golf at a resort. Or maybe if he is real busy and always going out, working or doing things for others a relaxing massage for him and dinner for him, your mom and or yourself afterwards.
Reply:If he has everything he would probably love a day out with his daughter.
Reply:Find out the item that he has been planning to buy for sometime.
Reply:a father daughter outing ?? such as a conoe ride or a special fishing trip ?? if not for the 2 of you , maybe mother and him or a friend and him......... Think outside the box, use what you know about him and use your own instincts and imagination....... God bless
Reply:Try http://www.gifts.com/. You plug in gender, age, interest, and they make gift suggestions for you. Pretty cool.
Reply:My dad also loves gardening and has everything that gardener could possibly have.


So I bought him a outdoor rocking chair with shade..so that he can rest when it gets too hot!


he loved it!
Reply:Just put the 100 on a gift card and let him get what he wants.. either a visa gift card or a sports store

deodorizers

Pet stores?

Does anyone know of any pet stores in and around birmingham which are good and sell live animals (particularly rabbits) apart from melbick garden centre and pets at home on solihul retail park


Thanks

Pet stores?
theres one in kings heath.





http://www.kingsheathpetcentre.co.uk/





http://maps.yell.com/client/yell/?%26amp;nat_i...





but there a rip off!! but it's the only one, i would try the evening mail, or bargain pages first. they have pet sections.
Reply:dont buy anything at all from pet stores. they contribute and support puppy mills and other cruel tihngs. check around for adds in the paper and stuff (or merchant if you have one) rabbits arn't hard to find if you try.
Reply:Have you tried the trade-it?. If you come down to bristol i can point you in the direction of some good cheap stores such as Pets at home in filton retail park and cadbury garden center.
Reply:http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en%26amp;safe=o...





Best I can do
Reply:Search on the AA website it's really good. I find places off it all the time.
Reply:I don't live in birmingham, so now..





Why don't you try in the newspaper or something?
Reply:A lot of shelters have bunnies this time of year (post-Easter). You could probably pick one up cheap, and save a life! (check out petfinder.com)
Reply:look in yellow pages


Badly aching feet?

When I get home from work at the garden centre where I work two days a week, my feet are so sore I can barely walk. Once I sit down I find it very hard to get up again and have to limp for a few minutes then they ease slightly. They throb and ache for hours. I have tried various kinds of shoes, walking boots and trainers and never wear cheap shoes. The rest of the week isn't too bad. I'm not lazy and don't sit that much, perhaps a couple of hours throughout the whole day.

Badly aching feet?
If you can make a slant board, just using plywood, And have one end on the sofa and the other on the floor, this can help stop the pain. Lay with your legs up and your head down. Do this after you get home from work rather than sit. This will help increase your circulation.





Take a hot bath with 2c. of dissolved Epsom salts. Soak for 30 minutes. The Epsom salts will help eliminate the lactic acid that forms on the muscles from over exertion.





Massage an analgesic cream into the sore muscles. I find the best cream for pain is “Blue Emu,” You can read more about this cream at http://www.blue-emu.com/





Dehydration can cause severe pain in the muscles. I recommend you drink purified water mixed with mineral water 50/50. This will replace the minerals that are exiting your body continuously.





I suggest that adults and children drink 40 ounces of water per 100 pounds of body weight every day. Realize that exercise, ambient temperature, and state of health affect the water needs of your body.
Reply:i am the same and i wear gel insoles.
Reply:get your self a pair of ugg boots they are the most comfy boots ever and they dont make your feet sweat or get your self a foot spa and foot soak from body shop to make them feel better %26amp; there are insoles that you can put in your shoes to make them feel softer
Reply:you need to wear gel and arch supports


you have what many people get from standing on hard floors


during the day at lunch sit with your legs elevated, use arch supports, at night put an ice cold soda can on the bottom of your foot


exrecise the muscles in your legs and calves, hamstrings etc


go to a podiatrist or orthopaedic doctor


Use aspirin, motrin, etc
Reply:go barefoot when u can
Reply:just wear gel inners and wen you get home get some surgical spirits and put some on some cotton wool and rub it on your feet, and u should be fine. I did this after my Duke of Edinbrough (2 day hike) and i was fine. and trust me i was so bad i couldnt actually walkone my feet they were so swollen at the end someone a to help me up the stairs where i live.


I paid for a Dutch hoe last night......?

down the garden centre, but it's just not weeding properly..... is there a special technique I should use?

I paid for a Dutch hoe last night......?
You need a good fork
Reply:Are you familiar with the manual, The Rake's Progress? Perhaps it would be best to consult it.





The author is R.T.F. Manuel
Reply:Honey, don't pay for hoes, just do it with your own hands!
Reply:Lol
Reply:Oh a Dutch hoe is no good, unless you're planting Amsterdam weed..
Reply:U should never ever pay for sex??? U look like a nice person, I'm sure u will find somebody to do it for free!!
Reply:You need the infra red light on to zap the weeds first
Reply:I will hunt you down
Reply:it's all in the grip and you have put your whole body into it, and move in a circular motion to get down to that nitty gritty dirt.
Reply:Looks like you posted at the wrong section?
Reply:wat why are u putting a dutch prostitute in the garden


im confused
Reply:The only way you gonna get that hoe to work for you is by giving that hoe a beating.











I don't condone hoe beating at all, that was a joke.
Reply:yeah u need a special wrist action
Reply:Put it in soil
Reply:***** her in the *** and come in her mouth?
Reply:Not the sharpest tool in the shed, eh?


Distribution law - applied problems?

T9his secondary school mathematics 3, for year 10, i need help in distribution law - applied problems, activity! paving stones





Intro: A garden centre sells 1 meter by 1 meter slabs used as pathways and as surrounds for swimming pools and fish ponds.





Focus question: what is the rule for the number of slabs that surround an irregular shapes.





In terms of p and q, find the rule for the number of slabs to form a pathway p meters long and q meters wide

Distribution law - applied problems?
(P+Q)^2 expanded.





P^2 + 2PQ + Q^2

deodorant

Policy problems?

While perusing the flowers at the local garden centre for my window boxes I noticed the new policy posted outside.


The sign read "Carry to the car service available, please ask a member of staff for assistance". Well I was delighted. I told the nearest assistant I would quite like a piggy back to the car. She refused! When I insisted and pointed out the sign to her she became quite short with me. I was quite offended.


How am I to handle this? Should I write a compliant letter?


Was this insulent gel not breaking some contract?

Policy problems?
Ah once again these small businesses are failing in their customer service. They are also relentless in their persecution of that poor chap, Bill Posters. I have found that shop signs are terribly ambiguous. Why only yesterday I saw a sign advertising cast iron hat stands. Who on earth has a cast iron hat?
Reply:All garden centres have restaurants now. It was 'Curry to the car ...', not 'Carry'. She should, of course, have given you the piggy back - the customer is always right - so a letter would be in order.





I was disappointed to find, on espying a roadside sign 'Strawberries! - Pull In', that the fruit just kept on driving straight past and disappearing from view round the next bend.
Reply:I do feel for you Dear Rosy. Alas it is the way of the world these days. Last year I purchased a shoe tree from Harrods at a cost of 10 pounds. Has it produced any footwear? Has it bugger. I phoned Mo Fayed to complain and his response baffled me.......He told me to "Stuff my passport up my back passage !" How shoes and a passport are related, I will never know. Personally, I would buy the garden centre and then sack everyone who worked there.
Reply:Madam, you mentioned that the nearest assistant became quite short. Therein lies the problem. You need to ask a taller assistant in future.





The short operative was probably employed to comply with heightist quota legislation.
Reply:My Dearest Rosy,





I've been watching your questions from afar for awhile and just want to comment on what a wonderful question this is! hahaha If only I had an answer, but there's no way I could do better than Lady McFud at this point.





Honestly, you are so funny! haha
Reply:Mrs Rosy,





for years I have seen signs that read "no shirt , no shoes , no service !" now even though I travel fully clothed , I have yet to be properly "serviced" by any of these merchants


Do you own an apartment in Prague and want to exchange for house in Norwich for 1 week from 10 to 17 July?

I have a 3 bedroom Victorian house with small courtyard garden in quiet street. I am 5 minutes walk from Norwich station, 8 minutes from the cathedral, and 10 minutes walk from the centre of town. I would like to exchange for one week for an apartment (not ground floor) in nice area of Prague in a fairly quiet street

Do you own an apartment in Prague and want to exchange for house in Norwich for 1 week from 10 to 17 July?
Nice idea :)
Reply:can i come.


Which are your favourite unconventional venues to chat up the oposite sex other than....?

d.i y. superstores





supermarkets





bookshops





garden centres





pet shops

Which are your favourite unconventional venues to chat up the oposite sex other than....?
Working places. Of course they are not my colleagues, they are my customers or suppliers. I have to attend large meetings and auctions several times a year in other countries, and there are many nice guys. Actually I'm going to find a long-term bf in next business trip :)


STATISTICS: Acceptance sampling, please help?

Hi,


I'm studying stats independently so don't have a teacher to ask how to finish this question. Any help would be much appreciated.





Before being delivered, bags of lawn seed are chosen at random from large batches and the contents weighed. The weight is known to be normally distributed with a standard deviation of 0.5kg.





A batch is accepted if the mean of 4 bags exceeds 24.8kg.





The manufacturer requires that the probability of accepting a batch with mean contents of 25kg should be at least 0.95. The garden centre requires that the probability of accepting a batch with mean contents of 24.6kg should be less than 0.01.





Question: Determine the minimum sample size and the weight which must be exceeded by the sample mean for a batch to be accepted.





I got n=17 and n=34 for the first part, but the answer book says n=25. I couldn't work out where to start for the second part. The answer is 24.84 but I don't know how to get there.

STATISTICS: Acceptance sampling, please help?
We know the true variance so we use Z-tables instead of T-tables. There is an interactive one here:





http://davidmlane.com/hyperstat/z_table....





The standard deviation is 0.5kg, so the variance is 0.25 kg^2.





%26gt;%26gt; A batch is accepted if the mean of 4 bags exceeds 24.8kg.





Okay, if the true mean is u, then the mean of a random sample of 4 is also normally distributed, also with mean u, but with standard deviation 0.5 kg / sqrt(4) = 0.25 kg.





%26gt;%26gt; The manufacturer requires that the probability of accepting a batch with mean contents of 25kg should be at least 0.95





Go to the web site mentioned above, use the upper form, put in 25 for the mean, 0.25 for the standard deviation, and above 24.8 for the test. The probability of acceptance is 0.788145, which is not at least 0.95.





%26gt;%26gt; The garden centre requires that the probability of accepting a batch with mean contents of 24.6kg should be less than 0.01.





Mean 24.6, standard deviation 0.25, test below 24.8: the probability of rejecting is 0.788145, which is not less than 0.01.





Conclusion: "A batch is accepted if the mean of 4 bags exceeds 24.8kg." isn't working for either party here.





%26gt;%26gt; Question: Determine the minimum sample size and the weight which must be exceeded by the sample mean for a batch to be accepted.





We expect the cutoff to be above 24.6 and below 25.0, and n to be large enough so that 0.5 / sqrt(n) is small enough so that both:





1) P(cutoff %26lt; Z) %26gt;= 0.95 for a normal with


mean 25, standard deviation 0.5 / sqrt(n)





2) P(Z %26lt; cutoff) %26lt; 0.01 for a normal with


mean 24.6, standard deviation 0.5 / sqrt(n)





Here I would normally switch to something programmable instead of trying various values by hand. But they say the answer has n = 25, so we make an inspired guess and check both n = 24 and n = 25.





For n = 24, then 0.5 / sqrt(n) = (approx) 0.102062


For n = 25, then 0.5 / sqrt(n) = (exactly) 0.1





Now we use the bottom chart:





mean 25.0, sd 0.102062 shaded area 0.95 test Above: cutoff %26lt; 24.8321


mean 24.6, sd 0.102062 shaded area 0.99 test Below: cutoff %26gt; 24.8374





So n = 24 does not work, the appriate cutoff regions do not overlap.





mean 25.0, sd 0.1 shaded area 0.95 test Above: cutoff %26lt; 24.8355


mean 24.6, sd 0.1 shaded area 0.99 test Below: cutoff %26gt; 24.8326





So n = 25 does work, assuming the cutoff weight is taken so that 24.8326 %26lt; cutoff %26lt; 24.8355.





Dan

shoe deodorant

Where is my fruit??

I bought a young pinapple tree from my local garden centre last year and the feller told me if I kept it in the green house it would bear fruit after a year!


It has grown well (almost 4 foot high) and is very green , but not a sign of any pinapples, what have I done wrong??

Where is my fruit??
Change the soil regularly and shake the tree a little.


Worked for me!
Reply:Duh! and besides, it takes two years for a pineapple to grow. Report Abuse

Reply:poor little pineapple, parhaps hes lonely
Reply:hmmmmmm?
Reply:Are you sure it's a pineapple tree?
Reply:that's to much work...


just go to the supermarket ad buy them ready to consume...





it works for me, hassle free...
Reply:Do you leave the door open in the greenhouse !!!!!


The man from Del Monte he say yes
Reply:well i think its to young to grow fruit. wait till it gets bigger and browner .


TV: The Commander question about character Louise?

Does the girl who played Louise(I think), the girl friend who worked at the garden centre have a famous actress Mother and if so what is her name? Thanks

TV: The Commander question about character Louise?
Her real name is Nicola Stapleton and she has appeared in Eastenders and Bad Girls, her mother is not famous and her father is in prison for a multi million pound fraud.
Reply:I think you mean the person who played Louise herself as being well known as she was in Eastenders for a good many years but I cannot remember her name.
Reply:mood is great, quite stable. still with some jetlag. cant take the heat. but then again, i could stand in shorts on polarcircle.


Part time job help?

Ive just finished my GCSE's and am looking for a local part time job, Ive applied at 2 bars for waitressing and the local garden centre. There are no spaces but I keep trying. Anyone have any part time job experience who could give advice on where to apply? Tesco is 5 minutes down the road and Im thinking of applying there but apparently the hours are really bad and Id prefer to keep my weekends free.

Part time job help?
I don't really have any advice for you, but I just noticed that you said you'd liek to keep your weekends free, and that to an employer is rediculous, it shows that you are not flexable and that you only care about yourself and not what other employees need.
Reply:get a job cleaning offices at night. its mon-fri, usually starts at 5pm, work as few or many hours as you need. look up commercial cleaning in the yellow pages or go to your local employment office or look in the sunday paper.
Reply:Stores





Wal-Mart


Target


Kohl's





Jobs on your own


Cleaning


babysitting


Excedra
Reply:Well i always worked with boating i was a guide and


i was a contractor for building homes. So i was t


he more laborer type


but for a young woman a waitress isnt bad or anything dealing


with people for your sake. id say tips ROCK! well


good luck to you and ur job finding. here is website for you!





if you belive this is best answer please choose so!
Reply:What is Tesco?
Reply:start with something simple like maybe mcdonalds or shoprite yeah shoprite is good
Reply:my brother works at part time job at wal mart ..





hes a stalker...
Reply:1st where do you live in what state also mcdonnalds is always hireing
Reply:Fast Food.


Mcdonalds


Taco Bell


Etc





Or Big Chain


Walmart


Clothing stores


Best Buy


Etc





OR the MALL





Always places there.














GOOD LUCK











..............................


Do you like a bargain?

I've been shopping today and as usual when in the local garden centre I look for half dead plants. They are always reduced and then I fetch them home to try and rescue them. I don't know which gives me the most pleasure, the fact that I had a bargain or that they survive because of my tender care and I have such a pretty garden. I would never be able to afford to pay for so many plants if I had to pay full price.


So my question is what in your view has been your biggest bargain recently? Thanks for answering x

Do you like a bargain?
I got myself a real bargain that money can't buy. My husband. He is my little crock of gold. I followed the whole length of a rainbow to get him. That's bargains for you. You keep looking until you get what you want. He was born in the month of January so that makes him a January sale bargain.
Reply:i just go for buy one get one free offers
Reply:Well, seeing as there are seven people living in this household, the bargains I am usually looking for are of food.





I regularly buy meat when they have reduced it for sale. Of course, I don't touch anything that is discoloured or looks wrong, but I also wouldn't be able to afford to eat T-bones if it weren't for these sales.
Reply:2 pairs of shorts for $12. =)
Reply:I thought I had a bargain at work when i purchased 6 Magnum ice creams for £3 until, I went to tescos and bought 6 for £1.79 (bogof) 2 days later!
Reply:when my kiddies were younger i used to buy a lot of their clothes in the second hand shop, some things were new donated by local stores, anyway i bought a bag for my son for school and when we came home we found twenty pounds in the pocket, not bad for fifty pence eh
Reply:That's hard to say. I clip coupons all the time; consequently, I get little bargains all the time. However, my best one has to be the leather jacket that had been $250.00 that I got for $67.00 on a great sale!!
Reply:Who doesn't like a bargain and I still find myself humming and hahing over a price even though I can easily afford it
Reply:A lovely charcoal grey suede jacket and bag reduced from £70 to £20. Okay, I know I can't wear it until the weather gets cooler, but I'm ready.
Reply:a ring for ma daughter white gold emralds and diamonds for 1 quid always go for bargins best way to shop ps have got ring checked out and its real lol
Reply:I like a bargain as long as it's something I was looking for in the first place. I find it annoying to have things shoved down my throat at a reduced price and be expected to be overjoyed at the offer when it wasn't even on my radar.
Reply:About two years ago I went into a Goodwill store and found a fantastic Yamaha Digital Home Theater amplifier, absolutely like new. I needed it to replace the monitor in my recording studio. Scored it for $35 and found out later it originally sold for several hundred dollars. Has worked flawlessly ever since. Also got a like-new microphone about the same time... $250 value for $10.00 and an older CD burner ($400 new) for $15. As for the plants, good for you! Hey, they are living things and deserve attention just like the rest of us!

shoe care product

Why can't anyone spell properly any more?

Words and phrases like 'I carnt do that' or 'I would of done that' have flooded web sites like this one and it's dreadful. Is everyone truly thick these days? There's even a garden centre near my village which displays a professionally made sign stating "SMALL TREE'S." What the hell has happened?

Why can't anyone spell properly any more?
Everyone is not necessarily 'truly thick', they are poorly educated. Nowadays, standards in schools have slipped dramatically, with those twin demons, Health %26amp; Safety and Political Correctness not helping the situation.


Young people are taught to believe that correct spelling, punctuation and grammar are unimportant, as long as the meaning of the message gets through (indeed, this point of view has been expressed in some of the answers to your question).


A worrying number of people seem to be unaware of the distinctions between 'there', 'their' and 'they're', have no idea of the correct use of the apostrophe and use capital letters randomly, but rarely to start a sentence.


Phone text shorthand is all very well - WHEN USING A PHONE. When you have a full qwerty keyboard there is absolutely no need for it.


"I haven't the time for all that punctuation stuff". Give me a break!
Reply:Most of us can spell perfectly well thank you. I do not however have either the time or the inclination, to spend my whole life worrying whether my spelling is correct on something as trivial as yahoo answers.





Get sommat real to worry bout !!!
Reply:Were in the computer age thats why
Reply:Because everything is too much trouble. Besides which children are not encouraged to spell properly at school anymore because everything has a spell checker!
Reply:nothing really...the world is dead long ago...n u r awake now
Reply:I'm with you there! I suppose some people can't help it but others just do it so that they have less to type.
Reply:hooked on phonics didn't work for everyone.
Reply:Small tree is what?





Everyone makes spelling mistakes on here. Lots of people seem to write phonetically - I don't know why they do that exactly, it's just something some people do.





Other peoples spelling doesn't bother me at all, unless they use the text message type of writing, which annoys the hell out of me.
Reply:The Internet is powered by 1000 English teachers rolling over in their graves.
Reply:No T9 dictionary mode in comps.





As far as the sign is concerned, I have seen worse. Eg. AVAILABAL ON ORDOR
Reply:Would it appear churlish if I simply said "ditto"?
Reply:bad education , thank's to the labour gov:





parent's do not teach the children at home , they have no time to do it
Reply:Some doctors believe that this problem is linked with the fact that we Instant Message and Text each other so much that our brain has gotten used to the fact that spelling doesn't really matter, instead it's how the word sounds. This could be a main factor or maybe the person could be just not so good at spelling.
Reply:Perhaps Mr. Small has lots of trees to sell.
Reply:its called texting which is for shorting words u no like omg(oh my god)
Reply:It doesn't matter to me because I can't read anyway
Reply:Most of us can spell perfectly well but dont bother. I for instance left out a ' in don't simply to save time in typing. This does not affect the readers understanding of what I wrote.
Reply:LOL !!!!!!!!! sorry couldn't resist xxxxxxx
Reply:People simply can't be bothered to take the time i'm afraid. It irritates me too, I blame texting.
Reply:Children aren't taught punctuation and grammar anymore. Teachers seem to be too busy to actually teach our children the fundamentals. Children leave school with exam results that really don't mean very much at all. They've been taught to pass exams not to know what they are writing about.





I don't think we're creating a generation of thickos but I do think we're going to have a generation of lazy people who don't care.
Reply:Did you understand what was being expressed in the spelling (new words are being added all the time) if so what the **** dose it matter how it spelt.Its called evolution.Of course if we are not up to your standard you could allways go away at your own chosen speed.
Reply:cor, good luck, last time this question came up, it got deleted. After receiving 165 angry answers!
Reply:Because we are not all privileged with your education, some of us are just factory workers, Who never write or spell or speak to well educated people, Don't look down with disdain on good honest ordinary people.
Reply:does it matter?Does it really matter?Are there really no more pressing needs in yr life than correct prenunciation and spelling?
Reply:nope, caannnne spell t' save my liufe
Reply:I can spell perfectly well. Others do have a problem. And kids text, so they have a new language to ours...........
Reply:I do not know! Maybe people have just gotten lazy! Maybe no one cares anymore? I know for me, spelling is important, I want people to UNDERSTAND what I am typing so the thoughts are complete!
Reply:the ones that get me are its vs. it's, your vs. you're, and to, too, and two!
Reply:I can





P R O P E R L Y
Reply:I think too many people have become dependent upon spell-checking and grammar-checking programs. I've seen several examples of public signage that's improperly spelled; probably because nobody has developed a spell-checking program for handmade signage. I hope that whoever comes up with one also incorporates a check to ensure that the numbers and letters are put up facing the correct way; I'm really tired of those folks who insist on putting up letters backwards!
Reply:I can still spell. But sometimes on places like here people just write like that because they can't be bothered. But I do know what you mean....alot of people actually can't spell!!!


Custom made Purgatory?

I've done Hell, now Purgatory.





Should the afterlife have a Purgatory specially designed for you what would it feature?





Mine would be having to spend eternity walking round a Garden Centre.





What would it be for you?

Custom made Purgatory?
I'd probably be stuck in an elevator with the Muzak a bit off key.
Reply:Yes, I think that caught the purgatory thing. Could even be worse than the garden centre (shudders!) Report Abuse

Reply:Absolutely busting for the loo and not able to go, while a que of whining, crying, angry people waited to use the same loo.


Tax advice?

he, i use the grounds of my house to sell plants and garden equipment.


i need advice on:





Which expenses can be deducted from the profits of the company if the business is incorporated? What principles are applied by the courts to decide this matter?





b)Whether i am entitled to claim capital allowances against the profits of the garden centre if i spends money on a planteria to house delicate tropical plants.





c)Whether any relief against corporation tax will be available to me if i incur trading losses in the first year of trading as a limited company.





d)Whether i will be able to claim the Principal Private Residence exemption from Capital Gains tax when i decides to sell his home at a profit in the near future.

Tax advice?
This is too complicated to answer in detail here.


See your accountant.
Reply:VERY basically.....


a. any expense incurred wholly and exclusively in line with the business (if not wholly and exclusively then apportioned as appropriate) - if you registered as a limited company then you are incorporated otherwise you are a sole trader





b. capital allowances can only be claimed from capital expenditure, ie a van or a trailer or a greenhouse or a shed





c. if you are not incorporated then there is no corporation tax - just income tax on your net profits





d. you will have to apportion the part of the land (and the time used) in calculating any cgt due





this is VERY basic and I would strongly suggest using an accountant MORE SO if you are a limited company as there are a lot more pitfalls in running a limited company





regards


Alex
Reply:You need a tax guy or an accountant..


Some mote good ones from the king of corn?

2 dogs talking and 1st one says''do you use contraceptives during sex''


2nd one says''durex''


1st one says '' hey i asked you first''





went into blockbusters today and said ''can i have batman forever''


bloke says ''no you have to return it tomorrow''





i went to a garden centre and asked for something herby they sold me a vw with no driver





and finally folks





i went to buy a train ticket to france and the bloke says''eurostar''


i said ''well ive been on telly once but im no robbie williams''





boom boom.

Some mote good ones from the king of corn?
star
Reply:didnt you already post these?
Reply:i shouldnt like you





but i do
Reply:crap crap!
Reply:big meanies, they were worth a little giggle tee hee hee
Reply:Groan..... what's with all the bad jokes today?
Reply:Cheese d`la bellend
Reply:Funny.!!!
Reply:It's jokes like these that make me sometimes wonder why the hell I'm losing my time in jokes and riddles.
Reply:Were any of those suppose to be funny? I guess I forgot to laugh.





This isn't even a question.

shoe buckles

Are these some more classics from the corny joke king?

2 dogs talking and 1st one says''do you use contraceptives during sex''


2nd one says''durex''


1st one says '' hey i asked you first''





went into blockbusters today and said ''can i have batman forever''


bloke says ''no you have to return it tomorrow''





i went to a garden centre and asked for something herby they sold me a vw with no driver





and finally folks





i went to buy a train ticket to france and the bloke says''eurostar''


i said ''well ive been on telly once but im no robbie williams''





boom boom.

Are these some more classics from the corny joke king?
hahaha. funny.
Reply:I didnt really get the first one.....


But all the rest were really funny!!





*kisses* Maybe a few more?
Reply:Okay, sure.....


Which Substrate?

Do you think it is safe to use garden bark ( bought from garden centre ) as a substrate for a tortoise table

Which Substrate?
dirt
Reply:you can get a special substrate especially for tortoises and reptiles from most pet stores or try the tortoise shop on the Internet these are a great supplier of all tortoise needs i wouldn't used sand as this could get on the food and be ingested by the tortoise, your best bet is to order the correct substrate from a reputable dealer.
Reply:I'd say no because it isnt made for that purpose. IT should be clean and sterile and free from any beasties that could harm your tortoise
Reply:A mixture of peat moss (non treated) and sterile playground sand (Home Depot, Lowes) makes a nice substrate for most tortoises. No garden bark.
Reply:No simply put most all varieties of garden bark are treated to keep bugs away This of course is not safe
Reply:yeah probably seeing that newspaper isnt very good since there is ink all over it.


i woudl say that should be normal for the turtle after all they live in the wild.
Reply:Only if it lists the EXACT types of wood being used. If cedar or pine is in there, don't use it.
Reply:No:


There are bugs and mites in garden bark as the substrate is not clean plus there are microscopic parasites in the oils of cedar wood %26amp; when the scales of the snake get wet this parasite can penetrate through the scales %26amp; causes scale rot.





If you are going to use something from a general DIY store then I would sagest microwaving it to kill any parasite that may be in there but personally I would get something from the pet store.


Giant snail housing please help!.....?

I am a new giant snail owner.Im using bark chipping which isnt working too well.Ive been told soil is best from them, where can i get the soil from %26amp; whats best as ive hard it cant be any ol' soil as could harm them?Can i just go to a garden centre %26amp; get some? Im a little confused as to what i can use. please help. Thanks....

Giant snail housing please help!.....?
yupp soil is probably best i wouldnt just go and get it out of the garde. the soft stuff you get in garden centre's is probably the best thing to use.





hope this was helpful!


What should they do with the old Maple Leaf Gardens?

It's been standing there, empty for 8 years already! I mean, I'm not saying that the Air Canada Centre is crappy, I'm just asking, should they turn it into a grocery store, put another team in there, or demolish it?

What should they do with the old Maple Leaf Gardens?
structurally speaking, it's best possible use is that of a garden, with trees and such. Until they have the resources to demolish it, and rebuild it, it should be a museum or some other kind of tourist attraction.





they will rebuild a new Maple Leaf Gardens; the country needs it. It's a part of history, n'est pas?
Reply:At least make part of it a museum of Maple Leafs - St. Pat's - Arenas history. Maybe even move the Hall-of Fame there.
Reply:destroy it.
Reply:it should be blown up in the new austin powers movie
Reply:They've already turned it into a grocery store. Pay attention!

shoe lasts

What are these songs from the tv?

Can anyone please tell me what the songs are on the Dobbies Garden Centre advert and on the trailer for Wyatt Earp. Would really appreciate it, thanx!!

What are these songs from the tv?
Try Again Today //by:Charlatans


http://www.songofthesalesman.co.uk/ad.as...





I'm not certain of the Wyatt Earp trailer because the only trailer I could find is instrumental:


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111756/trai...


Just a Poison warning about slug pellets.?

Last year my cat was taken very ill, on investigation at the vets it was found he had for some reason eaten slug pellets, he was very lucky to survive and it took him a month to get back to full health so please if you are thinking of putting them down go to your local garden centre where you can buy ones that don't affect animals.

Just a Poison warning about slug pellets.?
Good advise - thank you for sharing - hope kitty is fully recovered now ?





Edit - WOW, amazing, a psychic on here - Flutterby ! she must be cos she knew your cat was in next doors "lovely" garden ? Go on Flutterby - give us all the lottery numbers for Saturdays draw !!
Reply:thanx for that.
Reply:or just be a responciable pet owner and keep your cat inside and then you won't have to worry about that.
Reply:These pellets may kill slugs but they also go on to kill many of our garden birds that then eat the slugs
Reply:Slug %26amp; Snail pellets are bad for any animal in the domestic


animal family,as it is designed to dry out the blood and stop


it from flowing through the veins,resulting in the death of either cat or dog,rat poision does the same thing,the only cure is at a vet clinic,we being who we are don't know enough about animal husbandry to help the creature,resulting in its death.
Reply:Hi, That's good information. I remember many years ago with my first two cat's they both came in as if they were drunk, on investigation they had eaten slug pellets this was 30 years ago and i suppose slug pellets have become stronger so it is good that you have drawn it to peoples attention.
Reply:What a kind and responsible cat owner you are to bring this to others attention.





I do hope readers will remember you, when they are thinking of purchasing slug pellets. The back of the container states whether they are dangerous to wildlife and domestic pets and there are some that state they are safe.





Having worked as a Veterinary Nurse many years ago I can remember a cat coming into the surgery that could only walk round and round in circles, in one direction. The poor thing had brain damage from consuming slug pellets.





Thanks again for your warning and I am so glad that your cat recovered.





Well done.
Reply:Thanks for the tip, hope your kitty is feeling better now
Reply:Almond (Pits of)


Aloe Vera


Alocasia


Amaryllis


Apple (seeds)


Apple Leaf Croton


Apricot (Pits of)


Arrowgrass


Asparagus Fern


Autumn Crocus


Avacado (fuit and pit)


Azalea





Baby's Breath


Baneberry


Bayonet


Beargrass


Beech


Belladonna


Bird of Paradise


Bittersweet


Black-eyed Susan


Black Locust


Bleeding Heart


Bloodroot


Bluebonnet


Box


Boxwood


Branching Ivy


Buckeyes


Buddist Pine


Burning Bush


Buttercup





Cactus, Candelabra


Caladium


Calla Lily


Castor Bean


Ceriman


Charming Dieffenbachia


Cherry (pits, seeds %26amp; wilting leaves)


Cherry, most wild varieties


Cherry, ground


Cherry, Laurel


Chinaberry


Chinese Evergreen


Christmas Rose


Chrysanthemum


Cineria


Clematis


Cordatum


Coriaria


Cornflower


Corn Plant


Cornstalk Plant


Croton


Corydalis


Crocus, Autumn


Crown of Thorns


Cuban Laurel


Cutleaf Philodendron


Cycads


Cyclamen





Daffodil


Daphne


Datura


Deadly Nightshade


Death Camas


Devil's Ivy


Delphinium


Decentrea


Dieffenbachia


Dracaena Palm


Dragon Tree


Dumb Cane





Easter Lily *


Eggplant


Elaine


Elderberry








Elephant Ear


Emerald Feather


English Ivy


Eucalyptus


Euonymus


Evergreen





Ferns


Fiddle-leaf fig


Florida Beauty


Flax


Four O'Clock


Foxglove


Fruit Salad Plant





Geranium


German Ivy


Giant Dumb Cane


Glacier IvyGolden Chain


Gold Dieffenbachia


Gold Dust Dracaena


Golden Glow


Golden Pothos


Gopher Purge





Hahn's Self-Branching Ivy


Heartland Philodendron


Hellebore


Hemlock, Poison


Hemlock, Water


Henbane


Holly


Honeysuckle


Horsebeans


Horsebrush


Horse Chestnuts


Hurricane Plant


Hyacinth


Hydrangea





Indian Rubber Plant


Indian Tobacco


Iris


Iris Ivy





Jack in the Pulpit


Janet Craig Dracaena


Japanese Show Lily *


Java Beans


Jessamine


Jerusalem Cherry


Jimson Weed


Jonquil


Jungle Trumpets





Kalanchoe





Lacy Tree Philodendron


Lantana


Larkspur


Laurel


Lily


Lily Spider


Lily of the Valley


Locoweed


Lupine





Madagascar Dragon Tree


Marble Queen


Marigold


Marijuana


Mescal Bean


Mexican Breadfruit


Miniature Croton


Mistletoe


Mock Orange


Monkshood


Moonseed


Morning Glory


Mother-in Law's Tongue


Morning Glory


Mountain Laurel


Mushrooms








Narcissus


Needlepoint Ivy


Nephytis


Nightshade





Oleander


Onion


Oriental Lily *





Peace Lily


Peach (pits and wilting leaves)


Pencil Cactus


Peony


Periwinkle


Philodendron


Pimpernel


Plumosa Fern


Poinciana


Poinsettia (low toxicity)


Poison Hemlock


Poison Ivy


Poison Oak


Pokeweed


Poppy


Potato


Pothos


Precatory Bean


Primrose


Privet, Common





Red Emerald


Red Princess


Red-Margined Dracaena


Rhododendron


Rhubarb


Ribbon Plant


Rosemary Pea


Rubber Plant





Saddle Leaf Philodendron


Sago Palm


Satin Pothos


Schefflera


Scotch Broom


Silver Pothos


Skunk Cabbage


Snowdrops


Snow on the Mountain


Spotted Dumb Cane


Staggerweed


Star of Bethlehem


String of Pearls


Striped Dracaena


Sweetheart Ivy


Sweetpea


Swiss Cheese plant





Tansy Mustard


Taro Vine


Tiger Lily *


Tobacco


Tomato Plant (green fruit, stem and leaves)


Tree Philodendron


Tropic Snow Dieffenbachia


Tulip


Tung Tree





Virginia Creeper





Water Hemlock


Weeping Fig


Wild Call


Wisteria





Yews --


e.g. Japanese Yew


English Yew


Western Yew


American Yew





Tomatos





Coco mulch





all the above are toxic to cats
Reply:okay
Reply:I'm sorry to hear about your cat however if it wasn't using your neighbour's lovely garden as a toilet, it wouldn't have found them!
Reply:That's funny cos i feed my cat all kinds of garden produce and his muscles have swollen to like five times as much is healthy!





Nark!


Can you help me name my business?

It is currently an old hand craft hall but will be re vamping to devonshire tea place, travellers stop, gift shop, info centre, art gallery and gardens plus a nursery. The main characteristics are it's an old hall, it has been bright pink in the past, its on a main highway. I want something creative and quirky can you help? Ta

Can you help me name my business?
Pink n' Quirky
Reply:I'd go with the garden theme as it is easy to decorate the front with items from the nursery.


Kensington Gardens comes to mind to combine the tea and the gardens.


How about Neverland?


Devonshire Gardens.
Reply:How about ART-TEA-FACTS


Looking for (Hard) wood chips.?

Until about 2 years ago, I was able to buy (hard)wood chips from garden centres, but nowadays I can't find them anywhere, as I am always told the whole sawmill output goes to Japan. As my garden path is becoming to look rather bare, I would very much like to be guided to a place near Perth (I live in Mandurah- WA) where I could (finally) get a trailerload or two. Can you help?





Thank you!

Looking for (Hard) wood chips.?
I think these guys sell hardwood chips.


Hamiltons Landscape Supplies.


415 Pinjarra Rd, Mandurah WA 6210


Address:415 Pinjarra Rd, Mandurah WA 6210


Phone:(08) 9581 3833


give them a call.
Reply:Just check out where the pallets go that they ship things on.





In some areas they make wood chips out of them.





They even dye them different colors

tags

Tropical fish?

I went to the garden centre last week and a lad who works in the fish part put in some of the tropical tanks some chunks of cucumber and he said they like a bit of cucumber. And after three days you take out the leftovers. has anyone else heard that? because I never knew they liked cucumber.

Tropical fish?
Goldfish and cichlids are usually known for eating plant matter, but there are some types of tropical fish that like to eat plant matter. Mollies are a great example. They like to eat dark leafy lettuce, cucumbers, zucchini, and aquarium plants.





HOWEVER, I would suggest taking any uneaten food out after 6-8 hours, not 3 days! Another thing is that you want to avoid making the fish bob for the food floating at the top of the water. Get a suction cup clip that can hold the pieces of food you are putting in the tank. Some fish stores sell them for this purpose, but I'm sure you'll be able to find one at a grocery store.





:)
Reply:Depends on the type of fish, but a lot of them will eat cucumbers and other veggies. I don't cut them in chunks though, I have a little veggie clip with a suction cup that sticks on the inside glass, I'll put slices of cucumbers, zucchini, squash, romaine lettuce, spinach leaves....just about all my fish love their veggies.
Reply:i have gouramis that love veggies. if you cook it down some (technically you blanch it) it helps them eat it better. any leafy greens, chopped up peas, zucchini, cucumber -- all good choices.





fish that eat greens actually benefit from them. mine will color up better and it keeps their digestive tract clean. some fish are subject to blockage which can lead to constipation and internal bacterial infections if they aren't fed lots of greens.
Reply:yes i have heard of that fish love cucumbers. Also try, Romaine Lettuce, squash, flightless fruit flys (at petco andpetsmart)Also at petco are algae pellets. Usually for algae eaters, but all my fish will nibble.


Where can I get a good slide show of all the interesting parts of Australia?

Red Centre and all Capital Cities, parks and gardens

Where can I get a good slide show of all the interesting parts of Australia?
Check out www.tourism.australia.gov.au - it is the official Australian Government tourism website and has some beautiful slide shows
Reply:Check out the official tourism site of Australia


Advice on working time regulations?

Hi i live in the UK and i need some advice on working time regulations for those who work in plant stock nurseries and garden centres. I have an essay to write about working time regulations and the rights it gives to workers. Im doing quite well on the essay but could do with some opinions to see if im on the right track. Has the working time regulations changed the way nurseries are run? Is it a good thing for workers/employers? Does the opt out clause benefit the industry? Only advice on plant nurseries and garden centres thank you. x

Advice on working time regulations?
In so far as I am aware, the nursery and garden centre industry does not enjoy any derogation under the regulations that the country as a whole does not. It is therefore subject to the same rules as other UK employers. Insomuch that this industry might well have seasonal pressures upon it, it will still be unlawful for an employer to force anyone to work in excess of 48 hours per week, or indeed change any other protective measure contained within the law.
Reply:lets get something straight , there is NO working time regulation , there is a working time directive that can be opted out of by the individual worker as his circumstances require, anyway the EU is not a legal body as it has not been ratified by the people of the UK , the people of Britain supposedly voted to join the EEC a free trade organisation most definitely not the legal monstrosity named the EU .After the referendum in the early 70s i conducted my own survey and out of approx 2,000 names only 2 actually voted to join you can draw your own conclusion to this . ( a govt fix , TED HEATH ?)
Reply:Its fairly useless as many people have to opt out of it in order to survive (a low-paid hourly rate job will not pay a liveable wage at 48 hours a week) and although employers cannot "force" staff toopt-out, its more or less expected that new starters will sign the opt-out firm (or else they'll simply employ someone else instead of you . . .)