Garden Gnome collectors. Slave masters of the underworld?

Many many nights I have lain dripping in sweat pondering the answer to this question.Small plastic/pottery figures in the garden...Is this a front for what really goes on behind the chince curtains? Pentagrams scratched on the wall,sacrifices to the dark lord Pan,dancing naked over flickering fires chanting evil mantras of sin? Or just harmless, lovely old ladies that like a splash of colour next to the water feature? Who owns these figurines of dubious intent? and why?





Are garden centres all over the planet blissfully unaware that they may be retailing the very icons of a dark satanic sect?


Is a 'Gnome' with a 'fishing rod' really a juju harvester of the souls of the lost, cast into the firey firmament?


Are gardens sullied by the filth of these pottery/plastic demons or am I in need of a short break in Majorca with a busty 25 year old swedish model?

Garden Gnome collectors. Slave masters of the underworld?
Instead of thinking these disturbing thoughts many many nights, you should get some sleep; it sounds like you need some sleep.
Reply:they are knee biters. i swear I was working int he garden letting the crack hang out and the lawn gnome bit me. I swear it. I accidently dropped one of them 25 feet off my roof and it didnt break. Since I have had lawn gnomes my cats keep disappearing. I thinkt he gnomes are sacrificing my poor stimpy.
Reply:I will never think of Gnomes the same again, almost wish I was a busty swede. (sigh)
Reply:Its just sad.
Reply:GET A LIFE!
Reply:I hate those damn gnomes